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GROOVIN' ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON

In history there are events that change the sequence of time, the birth of Jesus Christ the most obvious example. But in communities, nations and the world there are occurrences that will serve as a reference point in the lives of individuals. There is the before and after of the earthquake. There is the before and after of the flood.  And there is the before and after of the war. As we know from personal deaths in our own families, existence subsequently changes forever. For me there will be the Coronavirus before and after. As a baby boomer, I escaped Vietnam because the country sent white trash, ghetto blacks and barrio Mexicans to do the fighting while we middle-class white boys partied through college. If I had had the combat experience, I'm sure my perspective would be different, but I didn't. With the exception of a few passings, my life has been free of trauma. I don't take this fortunate fate lightly. I knocked on my head regularly. Coronavirus, however, has perman...
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REMI THROWS ELECTION TO BIDEN

Cameron County Elections Administrator Remi Garza is so Democratic that he bleeds blue. But how deep is his loyalty to the party? Does he rival George Parr who provided the crucial votes from Duval County that allowed Lyndon Baines Johnson to defeat Coke Stevenson for the U.S. Senate in 1948 and pave LBJ's path to the presidency? We would hope so. He knows that Trump is a cancer who is destroying our country. He knows that a figurative civil war is taking place as a result of Trump's polarizing politics that is eviscerating this nation. He knows that Trump is the epitome of evil and as a result of his many mortal sins God is punishing the United States as if we were Sodom and Gomorrah. Granted, it won't be an easy task. Trump defeated Clinton by 800,000 votes in 2016. To be on the safe side, Garza needs to find a million votes. Cameron County went for the Democrat, 60,000 to 30,000. Garza, therefore, must find 970,000 votes. Parr only had to deliver 200 votes, but Garza isn...
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MIKE HERNANDEZ

Mike Hernandez, a Brownsville native, moved to North Texas in his youth. He traces his roots back to South Texas' historical families. A graduate of Texas A&M and presently a regent at the same university, Hernandez, a self-made millionaire, returned to the border and founded OP 10.33, an organization that intended to elevate education and eliminate corruption. When your hometown is one of the most ignorant and corrupt communities in the United States, he knew that his challenge was not going to be an easy task. When he immersed himself in local politics, he discovered firsthand that punching a tar baby only frustrates the aggressor. But the one-time boxer has bounced off the ropes on several occasions. His efforts have not been in vain and his accomplishments have been significant. As a result of his achievements, his alma mater recently presented him with the Distinguished Alumnus Award that is the highest honor bestowed upon a former student at A&M. Only 303 Aggies out o...
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TRUMP'S 50,000 DEATHS

DONALD "DUCK" TRUMP: "We will hit 50,000 deaths and one million coronavirus cases in the blink of an eye. I feel sorry for the blind who can't watch the hospitals stack one body on top of another. The Empire State Building ain't got nothing on my pile of cadavers. Hell, I may finally construct the Tower of Babel with human bodies. I like big numbers and the media is finally giving me the credit I deserve. The press underestimated the attendance at my inauguration because most the journalists chose to get drunk at their favorite bars because they couldn't handle that I had beaten their babe, Hillary. They keep repeating as if anyone were listening that she collected three million more votes than me. Eliminate California and New York, two failed states, and I kicked the shit out of the raving cunt. I won the electoral college, the only result that counts, in a rout. I won with a dead-beat vice president who lives in fear of his wife. He serves his old lady as i...
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TRUMP'S DATELINE

"Make America great again," says Donald "Dick" Trump. At The McHale Report we're not quite sure when America was great--a few shining moments don't equate to greatness--but it's obvious that this delusional goal will not be consummated with Trump in office, his idea of consummation measured by the number of harlots he fucks. Even though Fox News is proclaiming that, with the exception of Jesus Christ, we're fortunate to have this pathological liar leading us to the Promised Land of health and wealth, the truth is the opposite. Until he realized that he couldn't talk his way out of the Coronavirus peril, he was leading us to hell in a handbasket. This paranoid prevaricator, waving his hands madly that he is the victim of hoaxes and conspiracies, never accepted the warnings of the world's best scientists because he knew more than they as a result of his gut feeling. We find Trump despicable. When Trump dies and St. Peter performs an autopsy on ...
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I GIVE THANKS!!!

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I give thanks I'm not weighed down with the terrible burden of defending a terrible man. I give thanks that one day he will go away and humanity, as well as our country, will be better without him. For all the sins that we have committed as a nation, from practicing genocide against Native Americans to slavery to dropping atom bombs on innocent civilians to the many other evils we have unleashed against our own people and foreigners so a few could benefit to the detriment of the many, Trump is the dregs of our iniquitous karma. We are not great. We have never been great. We will never be great. Trump is living proof of that truth. We have been brainwashed. We have been indoctrinated. We are not humble. We are not grateful. We are arrogant and insatiable. We want more and more at the expense of others. I am not proud to be a human being. I am not proud to be an American. I temporarily inhabit this planet. I wasn't. I am. I won't be. I endeavor to contribute to the greater go...
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JASON MOODY SITS FOR INTERVIEW

Jason "The Jackal" Moody, the new public information officer for the Brownsville Independent School District (BISD), is well-known in political circles. He has advised scores of candidates who, in the end, have usually lost to Rodrigo Moreno's Pink Ape aspirants. At The McHale Report we prefer imaginary interviews to the real thing because they don't take much time and they are more enjoyable to pen because we have more of a penchant for fiction than we do for realism although we mix them on occasion which has made Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully, our founder, famous world-wide for creating the fictional/realism genre. Our good friend Robert Sanchez contributed an inflatable woman to the blog. We filled her with air and her dimensions were quite extraordinary. Sanchez had previously baptized her Nubia and the name seem to fit her sensuous state. We sat her in a comfortable seat. Cris Valadez, ex-County Judge Carlos Cascos' former aide, is a ventriloquist. He sounds quite s...
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