ANNIE ON DENISE

Denise "La Gata" Garza, who is running for the BISD Board of Trustees as a Dr. Sylvia Atkinson puppet according to her critics (Which is worse? Denise Garza endorsed by Dr. Sylvia Atkinson or Frankie Olivo endorsed by Erasmo Castro? Don't waste your weekend thinking about it.), vociferously asserts that the Association of Brownsville Educators' (AOBE) endorsements were predetermined and that the recent forums were nothing more than a dog-and-pony show.

She obviously thinks that AOBE is a dog-and-pony show, but she hasn't designated who are the dogs and who are the ponies as with her accusations she has humiliated President Veronica Borrego, Vice President Micaela Escobar, Secretary Laura Rosenbaum, Treasurer Elizabeth Torres and member Maria Fonseca. One would assume that Garza doesn't have much respect for staffers Ida Abeldaño and Mary Cisneros either. This is a lowly clerk who wants to dictate to teachers by riding a wave of blind biddies to victory but has no respect for the women of AOBE.

"I have no idea who is behind her," said Annie Gunn, The McHale Report's expert on all matters female. "She is not capable of arriving at a political decision on her own. She always thought her destiny was to be a nobody, but a kingmaker operating behind the scenes has convinced her that she can be a somebody if she runs for the school board.

"But she doesn't understand the ABCs about politics. Failing to appear at AOBE's debates and failing to answer AOBE's questions attest to a marionette who may require a puppeteer more adept at pulling her strings. And then after ignoring AOBE's vetting process, she offers her own vetting of AOBE: The organization is corrupt because its leadership is going to rig the endorsement process to favor certain candidates and discourage others.

"I've know many wannabes in my life and this pretender is a classic example of a backstabber. As an educator, I would have no confidence in her. I wouldn't trust her with a roll of toilet paper. Don't ask me the reason for that example. I'm spending the weekend with Cleveland Washington, a DJ from Houston whom I met on a plane trip. I've never been with an African-American in my life and I'm really horny and excited.

"But before I lose my mind completely, I can confidently make one prediction. AOBE won't be endorsing Denise 'La Gata' Garza. (Who gave her that stupid nickname?) Come to think of it, I can make another prediction. I will not be voting for her either. And since my lucky number is three, I will conclude with one last prediction: I am going to have multiple orgasms this weekend. I will be swimming in a sea of sperm. Unlike Denise, I'm sure AOBE would give me the thumbs up on that prospect. I'm outta here."

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