BISD RACE

In spite of his most recent arrest this weekend, "Captain" Robert Sanchez's supporters are insisting that if Carlos "El Cobarde" Elizondo can run for the BISD School Board with a well-documented history of felony charges, then Sanchez is more than electable because he is an angel compared to that devil.

According to unconfirmed reports from questionable sources, Sanchez met with his parents' at the latters' palatial home in Rio Viejo to discuss his political career. The meeting included his younger brother Emilio. Sanchez, who among other public ventures has competed for Cameron County Judge, has been suffering from cabin fever cooped up with his wife and new-born daughter.

With a covey of candidates more dangerous to the future health of the school district than COVID-19, Sanchez was going to promote himself as "The Cure" and challenge Board President Minerva "La Pendeja" Peña.

Marisa Leal, a former BISD librarian, is Peña's only official foe although there are rumors that ex-educator Carlos McHale-Esparza will submit his candidacy prior to the Monday 5 p.m. deadline.

"My husband is a teacher and has been for 30 years," said Leal in an interview with The Brownsville Republic's Publisher /DP-M. "My daughter will be starting middle school this year. I had worked for BISD for 15 years as a librarian and home visitor.

"In 2001, I became the operations director for the UPS Stores in Brownsville, Laredo, Corpus Christi, McAllen and South Padre Island. I am a Brownsville ISD product having attended Victoria Heights, Cummings and Porter High School.

"I have a vested interest in BISD because I’m tired of our district being a laughingstock. I know the potential of BISD and we need to be the leaders of education in the Valley and not the followers.”

McHale-Esparza, a poet, painter and dancer, earned his B.A. in biology from UTB and taught private school for two years before choosing employment in the private sector. He is contemplating the electoral option because he believes that Peña has been in office too long and undermines the BISD's credibility.

"We have a religious hypocrite who could probably trace her genealogy back to the Apostle Judas," spat McHale-Esparza as he threw back a tequila shot and chased it with a beer over a plate of wings.

"Like her possible ancestor, she has betrayed our community by promoting that Coronavirus is a 'hoax' and hides behind a facade of good will although she conducts the BISD's meetings with a glare that could kill."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sanchez, who is in and out of court and jail with a frequency one would think he thought of both locations as no more than convenience stores, didn't take kindly to his brother's commentary and reportedly took a chair to his head. Stunned by his older brother's outburst, Emilio called the police. Sanchez, as a result of his typical temper tantrums, faces a class A misdemeanor for assault.

"I don't care if Robert's the victim of bad publicity," said Maclovio O'Malley, la Voz de los Vatos. "Nobody is a bigger disgrace to Brownsville with his checkered past than Elizondo who has brought nothing but embarrassment to his family and our community. While Robert only has himself to blame, pinche Elizondo has no shame."

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