BOBBY W-C

Commissioners Ben Neece and John Cowen were sitting at an adjoining table with El Rrun Rrun Publisher Juan Montoya at The Library. How much of the following conversation they overheard is purely speculative, but at times a silence reigned among them as they appeared to be listening intently. Whether any of the details emerge in a city action or a blog article remains to be seen, but the chat between Estanislao Contreras, the poet of Chicano Fuck Songs, and Jack O'Connell, the great unpublished novelist, certainly caught the trio's attention.

O'Connell: Didn't I read somewhere that the downtown prostitutes were blowing the cops in order to keep walking the streets without fear of arrest?

Contreras: Pinche loco Booby Witless-Cervezas wrote the article.

O'Connell: What is his evidence although I read his blog occasionally and he never seems to allow evidence to interfere with his accusations?

Contreras: He stated that he is privy to this information because he is down in the trenches with the people.

O'Connell: I hear you can rent a room at the Colonial or the Cameron for an hour. Is Booby hanging out in the lobby and watching the comings and goings?

Contreras: He speaks with authority on the comings. He published that he had the names of the guilty cops and their specific rendezvous.

O'Connell: I hope their wives don't find out.

Contreras: Booby boasted that he doesn't care if his reporting results in divorces.

O'Connell: What is his objective?

Contreras: He wants Police Chief Felix Sauceda fired and he is demanding an end to the tyranny at the BPD.

O'Connell: Tyranny?

Contreras: It's the same question I asked myself. Maybe he is confusing the Minneapolis PD with our department. Maybe he thinks it was a couple of Mexican machos who killed the poor black fellow.

O'Connell: This Booby bato is nuts, right? Isn't he always insisting that any number of public officials should be fired and isn't he threatening to take judges to court when they're already in court?

Contreras: That's funny. Sadly, there is a depressing reality burdening Booby. He is a lonely, miserable and bitter person. Texas disbarred him. The South Texas Independent Journalists Association has blacklisted him. I don't know of anyone whom he hasn't called a "bitch" in Brownsville, but these alleged quickies between the police and the prostitutes speaks to lunacy. You aren't disbarred in Texas unless you are bonkers. These outlandish outbursts against the chief and his officers would be the final nail in the coffin in a rational world, but he, like Trump, follows one outrage with another because he appeals to an audience who believe the world is flat. His existence is so pathetic that he will do anything to find his way into the spotlight. Fortunately, he isn't taken seriously. The City or the BPD isn't going to waste its time responding to this idiot, or as he would say, this "bitch."

O'Connell: I saw him one time at Dodici drinking a concoction that looked like grape juice but smelled of rubbing alcohol. For the sake of simplicity, I can only describe him as fat and ugly. I don't think we will ever see his photo in GQ. For some reason--I was drunk and stoned--I imagined a burp having sex with a fart and the two giving birth to a cloud of gas filled with hot air.

Contreras: He reminds me of a deflated beach ball who has been kicked around all his life and his call for attention is little more than the pathetic cry for mercy.

O'Connell: I hope he doesn't find himself in a dark alley surrounded by cops. In the wake of the appalling allegations he has made against our fine men in blue, I don't think they would show him too much mercy.