CBD

Based on the mounting evidence and faced with that diurnal struggle of having to fill space with no ideas in my CBD sedated mind, I will decree that summer officially arrived in Brownsville on May 20, 2020.

The temperatures this week will rise to the mid-nineties before dropping into the low-nineties for Memorial Day weekend. The daily lows will average in the eighties. This is good news for those who relish the sun and surf at the Island.

And there will be no politicians knocking at your doors until the early evening, which means you can enjoy your siesta undisturbed or hook up with your movida for some afternoon delight.

I'm not a fan of the heat. Fortunately, I don't pay more than $70 and I keep the air-conditioner at 68 24/7. I refuse to suffer if I have any influence in the matter.

This accounts for my recent infatuation with CBD. Always a big fan of marijuana because it inspires me musically and takes the boredom out of the day, everyone has been talking about CBD's wondrous effects both physically and mentally. I'm a sucker for snake oil any day of the week.

I have been taking Xanax for 15 years. I actually take Alprazolam, the generic. I swallow one milligram before going to sleep and I awake the next morning rested and tranquil. If I'm fighting a particularly bad hangover or I'm nervous about making it through the day, I'll pop another. Up to this point the drug hasn't numbed my brain.

Through my insurance, I receive a three-month supply for free. If I'm running short because my sons or friends have been skimming a tab or two, I'll go to Matamoros and purchase 30 two-milligram bars for $70. Customs never asks the elderly about the contents in the Garcia's bag. The shits just too good to live without it.

I have a friend who is taking three milligrams a day. Before he started on the meds, he was a mess, but since he has commenced his new regimen, he has saved his marriage and loves teaching when he once despised the job.

"You better be careful," his doctor told him. "You might become addicted."

"I'm 68 years old," he replied. "I don't give a shit if I'm addicted. My insurance keeps my medicine cabinet full and I'm strictly living day to day."

Last week I decided to visit DuReal Lief Wellness Bar. Gus Villarreal, one of the owners, educated me. I'm always mesmerized when a person has a product that could lead to world peace. I listened attentively as he introduced me to the benefits of CBD.

"THC is just one of at least 85 cannabinoids found in marijuana and is the most talked about because of its ability to give a 'high' and its medicinal properties. CBD is not psychoactive, meaning it can not give you a 'high' as associated with THC.

"CBD has anti-anxiety and muscle relaxing effects," he continued. "Studies have shown that it works as an anti-inflammatory."

I told him about my infatuation with Xanax and marijuana, which prompted this interesting insight from my new guru who fixed me a cup of Willie Nelson's CBD coffee with zero caffeine, served me a CBD water soluble potion and offered me a CBD mint, which I immediately savored.

"CBD provides one more benefit for those who choose to use marijuana recreationally," he offered. "The compound actually acts as a counterweight to the psychoactive properties of THC, helping to reduce negative THC side-effects. For this reason, many cannabis users look for marijuana strains with a one-to-one THC/CBC ratio."

Saturday night the new establishment held its grand opening and the business was packed wall to wall. Everybody was hugging everybody else in a celebration of life.

Half drunk and energized by fresh sativa that had only arrived that afternoon, I felt like shouting "Jesus has risen!" but I refrained from making a fool out of myself. Gene Districh, none other than the Austin American Shaman whose hemp oil is the most powerful in the nation, confided to me, "You don't have to get high to get help."

He also recommended that I begin with the Natural 300 water soluble CBD and the CBD body balm for my bum knee. I took his advice. I mix the drops with water in the morning. I have noticed a positive effect. Though I haven't reduced my Xanax intake, I feel calmer and I have fallen into deep, dream-free slumbers. I would like to wean myself off the Xanax and solely use when I desire an ultimate mellow state.

The balm for my knee hasn't been as successful although I have noticed a small reduction in pain, but I fear I may have a tear from playing basketball with guys 40 years younger than me at Gold's Gym. It is ironic that in our endeavor to help ourselves to have a better quality of life, we hurt ourselves instead.

Some customers prefer the oils to the water soluble that they place under their tongues. The measurements for both vary from 300 to 450 to 900. (My 300 registers 30 milligrams, so I don't know if that ratio is reflected in the stronger doses.)

I am looking at my water soluble vial and my instructions advise me to ingest it twice a day, but the Shaman recommended only once in the morning. I'm sure I'll start taking it twice a day because I never like to deprive myself of the total effects. He counseled that everyone reacts differently to CBD. He was preaching to the choir. I've known all the effects of pot from the giggles to paranoia.

The products are not cheap, but I don't recall the price I paid for the two items while in a drunken and stoned state. "Put it on the card!" Since I have a month's worth of the tincture that will save me the trouble of reading the Bible in order to save my soul, I will report back to my three readers in a month if I am a changed man or if I'm still the same piece of shit as depicted by my three ex-wives.