CHEAPSKATE CASTRO

  I contributed $100 to Barack Obama's presidential campaigns in 2012 and 2016. I told him if he won, I would accept an ambassadorship to Madrid or Portugal. If neither was available, I'd be more than content to represent the country in Brazil or Argentina or Uruguay or Chile. He easily won, but I never heard from him. Instead, all six posts were awarded to millionaires who had contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to his campaign.

If you want to play, you have to pay.

Los Tres Buitres--Erasmo "El Body Snatcher" Castro, Carlos "El Cobarde" Elizondo and Viro "El Virus" Cardenas--are complaining that their opponents are making a financial commitment to winning their elections. Castro is whining, although it's difficult to determine if he's really whining because he never stops whining, that there should be financial reform since nobody contributes to his campaign while has adversaries are much more efficient in raising funds.

"There is nothing worse than an individual who announces his candidacy and then starts complaining that he doesn't have any money," said Scott Steinbeck, the managing editor of The McHale Report. 

"Would you sit down at a poker table and gamble even if you didn't have any money? Of course not. But blockheads like Castro want everything free but realize that without an investment there are no yields; then, they start whimpering that there foes are investing in a winning strategy.

"Castro uses the podcasts to criticize the more serious aspirants who have spent between $25,000 to $35,000 in attaining their objectives. Castro sounds like somebody's greatgrandfather who remembers when Hershey bars cost a nickel. Those days are over and they've been over for a long time. For a trustee or a commissioner who is serious about his intentions, $50,000 is a drop in the bucket."

El Brownsville Void Publisher Booby Witless-Cervezas suggests that Castro doesn't even have a job. How is an unemployed wannabe politician going to win an election who doesn't even have money to fill his car with gas? 

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