DOC & BEN

Doc Scully, known journalistically and artistically as Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully, walked into The McHale Report's downtown office and had hardly settled at his desk when Commissioner "Judge" Ben Neece walked through the door. It's a short walk from Neece's The Spanish Moon to the blog where the politico lives and records music for his Facebook audience.
Doc: What's up, big guy? I saw your show the other night. Good shit.
Ben: Did you enjoy it? Great. I was a little nervous and I missed a few notes. Did you notice? Good. I see you're back on Facebook, but I feel like I'm drinking a vanilla shake compared to The McHale Report that goes down like a double-shot of tequila. What happened to those infamous cojones?
Doc: It's the difference between going to work on Monday morning and hitting the clubs on Friday night. I have to be on my best behavior if I hope to keep posting here. I must appeal to a Disney audience rather than the hard-core guys like you who prefer the pornographic approach where the naked truth provides the kinky thrills.
Ben: And what is this nothingness of nothing? Are you going to rewrite the Vedas? Are you the reincarnation of Krishna? Are you invoking Ganesha's spirit?
Doc: Facebook wants me to drink tea and contemplate. My anonymous censors don't want me to write about something. Every time I write about something, they immediately discipline me. They act as my Zen master who smacks me across the back of head with a paddle if my mind wanders. By their actions, they have set me on a path in pursuit of the nothingness of nothing.
Ben: What about your staff? Are Scott Steinbeck, Estanislao Contreras, Jack O'Connell, Max Maxwell, Annie Gunn, Dr. Polyphemous Pangloss, Father Jesus P. Cadissimo, Mort Heinman and the rest of your crazy crew also condemned to this holy hajj?
Doc: They will only write for The McHale Report. They are unfettered fools whom I can't release here. They have all been bounced from the mainstream media because they felt caged by paranoid editors who didn't want to upset advertisers. Plus, they are all adherents to the Hemingway philosophy: Three years in the newspaper business and hit the road. You learn the ropes, but abiding by the dictates of a dispirited editor who doesn't want to fly the envelope can squeeze the creativity out of an individual.
Ben: You're no different from any of them. Booze! Drugs! Women. Like them, you're addicted to the cheap thrill. Why would you want to surrender your lusts that make you the guru of fictional realism? I can understand fasting for 40 days during Lent to temporarily escape our animalistic instincts and experience a transcendence, but I can't imagine you not eating like a pig for the rest of the year!
Doc: If I want to remain on Facebook, I have to use these obstacles as steppingstones. I'm intrigued about the nothingness of nothing. I believe that it is our true state with a brief interruption of consciousness. We emerge from the black hole and then return to the black hole. The challenge is to awaken one's consciousness to this ultimate reality and then move from moment to moment with an insight that allows you to breathe deeply and tranquilly.
Ben: I don't often have the opportunity to use this word, but it sounds like balderdash to me. The public wants blood and guts. They aren't interested in your metaphysical piffle. I can't believe you're such a coward. Go down fighting! You're like the outlaw who loses his reputation by skipping the high-noon showdown with the sheriff. You're worse than Castro, the revolutionary who became the reactionary in order to stay relevant.
Doc: I have The McHale Report for the right side of my brain. Facebook, however, is insisting that I can only utilize the left side of my brain if I want to keep this platform. This is nothing more than a higher form of walking and chewing gum at the same time. I'm taking Facebook's game and attempting to make it work for me. Restrictions can release your inner genius. There are times when the limitations of rhyme produce a more satisfying poem than the easier technique of free verse. Facebook is demanding a new look. That will be the hook.
Ben: Funny. I would make a suggestion, but it might upset your Facebook masters.
Doc: Then I would suggest that we maintain our attorney/client relationship.

With that said, the two exited the back door to the privacy of the alley for a giant. 

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