DONALD CLUPPER IS A FLUKE

 EL RRUN RRUN READER: "Donald Clupper is a fluke!"


(EDITOR'S NOTE: No truer words have ever been spoken. Donald "Trump" Clupper, the Clem Kadiddlehopper of Brownsville politics, is thinking, according to unreliable sources, that a third time mght be a charm. With five positions up for grads on the BISD Board of Trustees, the former Brownsville High math teacher, who believes that two negatives can eventually culminate in a positive, wouldn't surprise anyone if he announced his candidacy despite the fact that the electorate has already rejected him previously as a BISD trustee. In 2012 he lost to Caty Presas-Garcia by more than 4,000 votes, but he is a stubborn cuss who refuses to take no for an answer as he wanders through retirement aimlessly looking for anything to fill his vacuous existence. He attempted to resurrect his political career against County Commissioner Sofia Benavides, but his malicious attacks against the incumbent only ended in disaster for himself. Benavides punished this half-wit Don Quijote, 4,576 to 1,668, in last spring's Democratic primaries. "His reference to Ms. Benavides as a 'bitch' revealed his misogynistic character which didn't sit well with the electorate," said Max Maxwell, the dean of the RGV sportswriters who has overheard Clupper at Brownsville High sporting events. "He is a hater filled with rage and, like Trump, he can't contain his outbursts. I don't think I have ever had the misfortune to find myself seated next to him in the stands listening to a more bitter person rant and rave about everything wrong with life. I'm surprised that he hasn't put a bullet through his head to relieve himself of his lugubrious thoughts. If the sun were optimism, Clupper would reside in darkness 24/7/365. He is the last person with whom you would want to find yourself serving a life sentence in the same prion cell. I really believe that if he smiled, his face, in the same manner as a mirror, would shatter in a thousand pieces." Besides death, we really can't prognosticate Cluppers' future except his has no future in politics. Legendary BISD coach Rick Lepre is currently considering a run for the BISD board. He is contemplating a slate with "Delta" Dave Handelman among others to take the district in a new direction. When asked if he would include Clupper on his card, he reacted vehemently, "I know that I'm a longshot, but with the clueless Clupper I would have no shot at all." Among the pundits, the opinion is unanimous. Says Maclovio O'Malley, la Voz de los Vatos: "If you were a woman and you wanted to impress your parents with your beau, Clupper is the last person you would want to bring home for supper!")

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