FOR OLD MEN BIRTHDAYS BRING THE BLUES

"Happy birthday, compadre."

"Happy?"

"Didn't Scrooge die a blissful death and rise a happy man?"
"Scrooge you, big guy."
"Remind me not to invite you to my funeral. You'll have all the mourners jumping into the hole with me."
"What is there to be happy about? Most of the time I have my head bent forward as I trudge against a hard wind and a cold rain."
"You gots dem blues, boy."
"Damn rights I have the blues and I will wail my laments E eternally."
"But that doesn't mean you can't pick out an occasional lead and bring some joy to your life."
"I haven't taken a guitar and smashed it into a thousand pieces. I haven't put a bullet in my head for the entertainment of the masses who only go to races to witness the fiery crashes. I haven't surrendered, but I look back at the past and I see the crosses along the road I have taken and in the future I see nothing but a sorrowful trip toward a cemetery until I'm planted under one of those crosses."
"How old are you?"
"I'm 67 today."
"You're young. You look good for your age."
"Fuck you, asshole! It's all a pathetic façade."
"Are you taking your meds? A friend of mine told me he had to divorce his wife after she stopped taking her meds. She became insufferable."
"I'm taking .50 Xanax along with my multi-vitamins, fish jells, aspirin and niacin. I wash them down with green tea."
"You are all hot air. You have an exaggerated opinion of yourself. Accept your nothingness and you will find happiness. I would suggest that in order to find that earthly nirvana you should double your Xanax dosage."
"You want to turn me into the walking dead?"
"I want you to have peace."
"There is only one piece I desire and I can't enjoy it if I'm deadening the pain."
"Are you saying that in order to live the dream you have to endure the nightmare?"
"I'm saying that the numbers don't lie. I'm saying that in three years I will be 70 and in 13 I will be 80. You're almost the same age as me. Even though we can still stroke tennis balls and stroke ourselves, death awaits us around the corner."
"On second thought you need to quadruple your Xanax dosage. How do you go from day to day dragging that cadaver of yours under a black cloud?"
"Because the animal in me won't let it go. Because the animal in me is no different from the millions of those mindless other animals that delight in the cheap thrill. But when I start that steep, final decline, the beast will abandon me forever."
"What about your loved ones?"
"My dad has visited me the last two nights in my dreams. In the first one he wanted me to kiss him on the cheek. In the second we were on a roof being chased by a King Cobra."
"What did you do after you awoke from the second one?"
"I rose from my bed and made sure that all the doors were locked."
"Happy birthday, compadre."
"Thanks, big guy."

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