OLIVO MUST CUT TIES

  Don Pedro, the venerable voice of the dying daily whose tombstone will read The Brownsville Herald, took his seat at one of The Library's outside tables for lunch. He calls the establishment's hog dogs the best in town. Maclolvio O'Malley, La Voz de los Vatos and in charge of organizing the barrios for Frankie Olivo in the latter's campaign for a seat on the BISD Board of Trustees, joined the sage. He ordered a dog, too.

"How's your candidate doing?" asked Don Pedro.

"I think he's going to win."

"He ain't gonna win shit," spat Don Pedro.

"Do you think the dick pic has doomed him?"

"There are a few outraged individuals who are probably cheating on their partners that will make a public display of disgust, but nobody gives a shit. I'm almost 90 years old and a day doesn't go by that I don't receive a snapshot from a young thing. I've probably fucked 500 chicks. As long as it isn't a rape or a child molestation and the rules are set by consenting adults, sex is always a journey into unchartered territory that brings out the explorer in all of us."

"Then why do you downgrade his chances?"

"It's the company he keeps. You can't associate with Erasmo Castro and Los Buitres and expect to win. You ride with outlaws like Carlos Elizondo and Viro Cardenas and the vigilantes will hang you from the nearest tree. I never hear any comments about Frankie overdosing on testosterone, but everyone I talk to says it's Erasmo and his henchmen who will cost him the election."

"He has cut ties with Cardenas," countered O'Malley. "He discovered that Cardenas was a piece of shit and he hasn't stopped showering himself three times a day to rid himself of the stench. I told him that Cardenas was a loser. He finally realized that I was right when he learned that Cardenas was arrested for not paying child support. Here is a guy who says he cares about the kids of the BISD but ignores his own daughters' needs. Frankie realizes that Cardenas is only good for licking some dude's ass after the latter has taken a shit."

"And what about the hypocrite Elizondo?" asked Don Pedro. "Has Frankie snuffed that flame? Elizondo talks about helping the educators economically, but when he became fire chief he backstabbed his own firefighters financially because he had to sacrifice them in order to scale the ladder. What happened to him? Karma cost him his post as fire chief and it seems like he is in court every other week defending himself against felonies. And in the previous BISD race he finished in last place as an incumbent because the teachers witnessed firsthand that he had placed his wife's counseling career as his top priority."

"You're right, but Frankie is manipulated by his Uncle Erasmo and Erasmo and Carlos are running as a two-headed man."

"His critics are saying that he is part of the three-headed man. Erasmo is one of the most despised individuals in Brownsville and is probably the most hated politician in the Third World Capital of the United States. Frankie needs to show the cojones that he had no qualms about displaying at the courthouse. Erasmo insults Frankie's aunts. What kind of man remains quiet when his own relatives are being publicly humiliated by his embittered tío?"

"Is just that Erasmo intimidates him?"

"Frankie will never win the confidence of the public if he lives in fear of Erasmo. Erasmo had to resign from the board after only one year because of his excessive drinking. The board voted unanimously to bar him from all the campuses and BISD extracurricular activities because he kept appearing on his blog with all these selfies of young teenage boys. Parents were complaining to the district that these photographs at best were creepy. Board President Minerva Peña allegedly filed a compliant with the Brownsville Police Department against Castro because his reported behavior gave her a grave cause for concern. Retired from law enforcement, she was apparently stepping forward and calling a spade a spade."

"He respects his uncle."

"I'm glad someone respects his uncle, but if he doesn't distance himself from the devil's disciple, we will be paying Frankie our respects as we bury his political career."

O'Malley sat in silence. Don Pedro was his Buddha. He knew that the Brownsville icon was speaking the truth, but he didn't want to tell his master that he feared Frankie had already drunk the Kool-Aid.