PUB-SHITTY

CHAIRMAN: How are operations in the wastewater department going?

CEO: We are stretched thinner than a hospital accommodating COVID-19 patients.

CHAIRMAN: What exactly is the problem?

CEO: There is simply too much sewage to process.

CHAIRMAN: I don't understand. Can you be more specific?

CEO: Trump is a piece of shit.

CHAIRMAN: Okay. We all knew that.

CEO: Pence is a piece of shit. Pompeo is a piece of shit. The whole damn administration are pieces of shit.

CHAIRMAN: But I thought our facilities were modern?

CEO: They are, but if the entire country is collapsing because of these pieces of shit, how do you expect PUB to fare better?

CHAIRMAN: How extensive is the problem.

CEO: Beginning with the Senate, we have to start with McConnell and it takes us days to filter this piece of shit before we can even start with the rest of the Republicans. And the House is even worse. How do you expect us to function smoothly with pieces of shit like Jordan, Nunes, Scalise, McCarthy and 180 other anuses overflowing our system?

CHAIRMAN: Can't you hire more employees to meet your needs?

CEO: I'm understaffed because COVID-19 is decimating our ranks. For every new hire, two fall sick. 

CHAIRMAN: I recognize that we are in a crisis, but how long do you believe before you will have the situation under control? What is your prognosis for the future?

CEO: I have never dealt with so much shit in my life. If I said the problem was getting better, even though it's getting worse, would that give you a false sense of confidence in that the lie is more comforting than the truth? As to the future, I cannot predict anything because we're doing our best to survive the moment.

CHAIRMAN: In one word, then, how would you evaluate our current state?

CEO: Shitty.

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