RUMORS SURROUND GARZA

 EL RRUN RRUN PUNDIT: "Celina Manríquez, a diagnostician at Los Cuates Middle School, is wondering why her husband has been “very close“ with a candidate for BISD. Aver qué pasa raza; se va poner buena la cosa."

(EDITOR'S NOTE: When a candidate steps into the spotlight, he or she should know that his or her professional, political and personal lives became fair game. Denise "La Gata" Garza is facing state district court clerk Frankie "El Aguila"  Olivo and Jaime "The Whiz Kid" Diez for a seat on the BISD Board of Trustees. Both have college degrees with Olivo pursuing a Master's. Garza, a clerk in the San Benito Consolidated School District, has little if any higher education credits. While both Olivo and Diez have come clean with the public--the former admitting that he sent unsolicited photos to a female and Diez confessing that he takes a shower in the morning and in the evening--Garza retreats into the shadows. Her handlers have told her she doesn't have to do anything except avoid doing something stupid. These puppeteers have advised her that she can ride the blind female vote to victory. Insiders suggest that BISD Board of Trustees President Minerva Peña convinced her to run so the former can build her own majority of four. As Justo Leyes, The McHale Report's legal counsel, says, "There is no bigger whore than a majority of four." We are not sure what the El Rrun Rrun pundit is insinuating except the obvious: Is Garza having an affair with her San Benito boss, Ernesto Manríquez, the same administrator who took her from the BISD to San Benito? One of her former BISD colleagues asserted that in Brownsville Garza spent much of her time in Manríquez's office instead of attending to her daily responsibilities. And to add a feather that may break the camel's back, The Brownsville Void's Publisher Booby Witless-Cervezas, who recently threated to rain a "blood bath" on hundreds of BISD women, is promoting Garza's platform. Except she has no platform. The refrain with "La Gata" never changes: What is she hiding? The Baker Boys are investigating.)