THE MCHALE BREAKS NEWS

Ben Neece, the populist city commissioner whose guru is urging him not to seek reelection in order to embark on a more spiritual path as his life draws to a close, dropped into The McHale Report's office on Washington Street in historic downtown. Scott Steinbeck, the managing editor, was manning the controls as usual.

Ben: What the hell happened to Erasmo Castro on Brownsville Talk last night? What did Dr.  McHale-Scully do to send "El Queso" spewing out of control.

Scott: It's a tale of two uncles. Erasmo is steering his nephew Frankie Olivo down the wrong path as a result of the former's bitterness and Doc is trying to cure him of Erasmo's contagion. It drives Erasmo crazy that we're endorsing Daniella Lopez-Valdez against him but endorsing Frankie against his two foes.

Ben: But then Erasmo started ranting and raving that you guys were promoting porn and rape and that Doc had been run out of the BISD and on and on and on.

Scott: He demonstrates on his own show that he is unfit to be a trustee. Every day he calls the super and trustees stupid and corrupt, but Doc turns the tables on him and he can't take it. Erasmo is the king of chaos who thinks he has been chosen to the lead the flock out of the wilderness except he is the black sheep and nobody in his right mind would follow him. Hell, he lasted only one year as a trustee and he had to resign in disgrace. Intelligent people aren't going to elect him. He just hopes that ignorance reigns in the Third World Capital of the United States and the dumb will vote for the dumbest.

Ben: I've seen your stories on Denise Garza on The McHale Report, but you haven't reposted them here on Facebook. Why?

Scott: Facebook is too fastidious. We have to limit ourselves to PG articles or we'll be blocked for another 30 days. I am always emphasizing that is the reason our friends on this site need to read The McHale Report because it's on the blog that the rubber hits the road. We have a vision that we can't share on FB.

Ben: This Garza gal, though. She has no education and she wants to dictate to the educators. Isn't that like a blind man who insists on telling those with sight the meaning of a painting?

Scott: I'm just glad I'm not married to her. She is thinned-skin and flies off the handle. Her actions regarding AOBE and her accusations against AOBE defy logic. She wants to be one of seven people overseeing the BISD's $550 million budget, 7,000 employees and 40,000 students!!! With three candidates whose mug shots should be on their campaign posters, with a trustee in Federal Court fighting bribery charges and with a lawyer with a felonious past, we need to make some wise decisions, beginning with Daniella over Erasmo, if we have any chance of moving forward. But you need to read The McHale Report if you want to scrutinize the gory details.

Ben: Where's Annie Gunn? She's a cutie.

Scott: She went to the Island with some black guy from Houston for a long Labor Day weekend.

Ben: I'd sure like to get her in bed.

Scott: I'll let her know when she returns, but you may have a tough act to follow.

Ben: I'll double-up on the Viagra. She deserves the best.

Scott: She's known the best more times that you can imagine. You may think you're quite the cat, but you are venturing into a tiger's den. This chick doesn't meow. She growls.

Ben nodded his head. He had been with tigers in the past and the scars from their claws were clearly visible on his arms.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

REMI THROWS ELECTION TO BIDEN

Cameron County Elections Administrator Remi Garza is so Democratic that he bleeds blue. But how deep is his loyalty to the party? Does he rival George Parr who provided the crucial votes from Duval County that allowed Lyndon Baines Johnson to defeat Coke Stevenson for the U.S. Senate in 1948 and pave LBJ's path to the presidency? We would hope so. He knows that Trump is a cancer who is destroying our country. He knows that a figurative civil war is taking place as a result of Trump's polarizing politics that is eviscerating this nation. He knows that Trump is the epitome of evil and as a result of his many mortal sins God is punishing the United States as if we were Sodom and Gomorrah. Granted, it won't be an easy task. Trump defeated Clinton by 800,000 votes in 2016. To be on the safe side, Garza needs to find a million votes. Cameron County went for the Democrat, 60,000 to 30,000. Garza, therefore, must find 970,000 votes. Parr only had to deliver 200 votes, but Garza isn...
Read more

GROOVIN' ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON

In history there are events that change the sequence of time, the birth of Jesus Christ the most obvious example. But in communities, nations and the world there are occurrences that will serve as a reference point in the lives of individuals. There is the before and after of the earthquake. There is the before and after of the flood.  And there is the before and after of the war. As we know from personal deaths in our own families, existence subsequently changes forever. For me there will be the Coronavirus before and after. As a baby boomer, I escaped Vietnam because the country sent white trash, ghetto blacks and barrio Mexicans to do the fighting while we middle-class white boys partied through college. If I had had the combat experience, I'm sure my perspective would be different, but I didn't. With the exception of a few passings, my life has been free of trauma. I don't take this fortunate fate lightly. I knocked on my head regularly. Coronavirus, however, has perman...
Read more

JASON MOODY SITS FOR INTERVIEW

Jason "The Jackal" Moody, the new public information officer for the Brownsville Independent School District (BISD), is well-known in political circles. He has advised scores of candidates who, in the end, have usually lost to Rodrigo Moreno's Pink Ape aspirants. At The McHale Report we prefer imaginary interviews to the real thing because they don't take much time and they are more enjoyable to pen because we have more of a penchant for fiction than we do for realism although we mix them on occasion which has made Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully, our founder, famous world-wide for creating the fictional/realism genre. Our good friend Robert Sanchez contributed an inflatable woman to the blog. We filled her with air and her dimensions were quite extraordinary. Sanchez had previously baptized her Nubia and the name seem to fit her sensuous state. We sat her in a comfortable seat. Cris Valadez, ex-County Judge Carlos Cascos' former aide, is a ventriloquist. He sounds quite s...
Read more