TRUMP REACHES OUT TO THE MCHALE REPORT
President Donald Trump has decided to expand his contacts with the American beyond Twitter and Fox News to also include The McHale Report.
"I was talking to former Cameron County Judge and ex-Ambassador to Mexico Tony Garza and asked him for advice in my endeavor to better communicate my commitment to both the safety and economics on the border," said the President in a wide-ranging interview with Fox.
"He told me that the mainstream press is out of touch with el pueblo--those are Tony's words, not mine--and that I should communicate with the bloggers. He mentioned El Rrun Rrun's Juan Montoya and The McHale Report's Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully as possibly my best contacts. He added that Montoya was the most read internet site in the Rio Grande Valley while Dr. McHale-Scully occupied the position of 'the granddaddy of the bloggers' as philanthropist and Texas A&M Regent Mike Hernandez described him.
"I called Mr. Montoya and he told me to go fuck myself. I responded that he was a victim of the fake press that regularly distorts my views. Unfortunately, Mr. Montoya has drunk the kool-aide and after calling me 'pinche gringo, gabacho, puto' and a string of other unflattering epithets, I hung up. Only Kelly Ann Conway can talk to me in that tone. She's a real cunt. With that horse's face, I would never fuck, but I keep her in the stable because she as an innate ability to fuck the American people with her double-talk.
"I reached Dr. McHale-Scully and it was obvious to me that he was drinking something other than kool-aide. Mr. McHale-Scully is a fine gentleman who has made a huge contribution to his community in Tony's esteemed estimation whom I'm grooming to become Ambassador to the United Nations if I win reelection.
Dr. McHale-Scully confessed that he had voted for Hillary out of fear the Republican Right wants to control women's vaginas, but willing to work with me after I told him that I shared his concerns about women's vaginas. I reassured him that nobody knows more about vaginas that I do.
"I further explained that I needed a platform that would allow me to speak directly to the people of South Texas. Dr. McHale-Scully said he was at my service. He explained that in spite of political differences, he respected the office of the Presidency and that The McHale Report was an open forum.
"I'm happy to report that he and Karl Rove, my Texas chief strategist, are going to resolve the details. With the corruption, poverty and ignorance, Brownsville and the Rio Grande Valley are a sad place. It may not be Chicago, but with the chaos and violence in Mexico, it isn't much better. I am going to make a difference. Adios."
"I was talking to former Cameron County Judge and ex-Ambassador to Mexico Tony Garza and asked him for advice in my endeavor to better communicate my commitment to both the safety and economics on the border," said the President in a wide-ranging interview with Fox.
"He told me that the mainstream press is out of touch with el pueblo--those are Tony's words, not mine--and that I should communicate with the bloggers. He mentioned El Rrun Rrun's Juan Montoya and The McHale Report's Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully as possibly my best contacts. He added that Montoya was the most read internet site in the Rio Grande Valley while Dr. McHale-Scully occupied the position of 'the granddaddy of the bloggers' as philanthropist and Texas A&M Regent Mike Hernandez described him.
"I called Mr. Montoya and he told me to go fuck myself. I responded that he was a victim of the fake press that regularly distorts my views. Unfortunately, Mr. Montoya has drunk the kool-aide and after calling me 'pinche gringo, gabacho, puto' and a string of other unflattering epithets, I hung up. Only Kelly Ann Conway can talk to me in that tone. She's a real cunt. With that horse's face, I would never fuck, but I keep her in the stable because she as an innate ability to fuck the American people with her double-talk.
"I reached Dr. McHale-Scully and it was obvious to me that he was drinking something other than kool-aide. Mr. McHale-Scully is a fine gentleman who has made a huge contribution to his community in Tony's esteemed estimation whom I'm grooming to become Ambassador to the United Nations if I win reelection.
Dr. McHale-Scully confessed that he had voted for Hillary out of fear the Republican Right wants to control women's vaginas, but willing to work with me after I told him that I shared his concerns about women's vaginas. I reassured him that nobody knows more about vaginas that I do.
"I further explained that I needed a platform that would allow me to speak directly to the people of South Texas. Dr. McHale-Scully said he was at my service. He explained that in spite of political differences, he respected the office of the Presidency and that The McHale Report was an open forum.
"I'm happy to report that he and Karl Rove, my Texas chief strategist, are going to resolve the details. With the corruption, poverty and ignorance, Brownsville and the Rio Grande Valley are a sad place. It may not be Chicago, but with the chaos and violence in Mexico, it isn't much better. I am going to make a difference. Adios."
Scott Steinbeck, managing editor for The McHale Report, issued this statement: "He is our President. We are an open forum where anyone can speak his or her piece. We consider it our duty to allow the President access to The McHale Report."
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