TRUMP THREATENS TO SHUT DOWN THE MCHALE REPORT
After I'm done with Twitter, I'm going after that damn Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully and closing down The McHale Report. He doe"sn't give me credit for receiving his doctorate from my university and, if I'm not mistaken, he still owes us for loans.
"I don't appreciate his mocking of me and my family. I'm not going to comment on personal matters, but he has no right to print that Melania has locked the door to her bedroom and will not allow me to enter unless I'm wearing a mask and maintaining six feet distance.
"And there is no scientific proof that if you voted for me, your I.Q. indicates that you are stupid, possibly retarded. I voted for me and I'm arguably one of the smartest persons who has ever walked this globe. Don't take my word for it. Ask Vice President Pence. He'll vouch for me although, off the record, I can't find any logical reason that he would remain faithful to his wife. She is homelier than a hillbilly.
"Social media is controlled by left-wing radicals. In fact, Dr. Tony Zavaleta asserted that this Dr. Maniac-Scumbag was a communist. I'm trying to make American great again and he is calling his own home town the Third World Capital of the United States. There may be more than 100,000 dead from COVID-19, but I can still find something positive in these numbers while this Biden bitch can only speak negatively of those brave people who unfortunately died.
"He never stops mentioning that I am only one of three presidents to be impeached, but he never includes Fox's characterization of me as one of this nation's top three presidents historically along with Washington and Lincoln.
"Fortunately, there are good Republicans in Brownsville that this jerk refers to as the Harlingen Heathens because they are white and he wants to conquer and divide with his racist politics. Like Hitler--I'll concede he took it a little too far--I am the savior of White America. Since there is so much controversy about the Jefferson Davis Memorial--The Confederate president may have been a traitor, but he was our traitor--I have heard that Terry Ray, Jim Tipton, John Reed and Harry McNair are going to replace the rock and erect a statue of me riding Stormy Daniels, I mean a horse.
"I was very disappointed, but then our ranks are filled with Romneys, that the Cowen family is not going to take part in the undertaking. Very, very bad. You can express your disappointment too by not voting for Ralph Cowen at the port as a protest even though he doesn't have an opponent and you can vote his brother Phil and his nephew John off the BISD board and city commission. These are bad people and I mean very bad people.
"But the worst of the lot is McHale-Scully. Just like I took Hillary down, I'm going to take this 'hoax' down. Why are readers so easily convinced by his lies? He never stops lying. He wants to destroy my beautiful achievements and I've done some very beautiful, beautiful things for our country. And I'm not done. I'm going to bring beauty to Brownsville by flushing this ugly piece of shit down the toilet and my good friend John Bruciak at PUB will permanently take care of this piece of crap.
"I am the Pied Piper of Prosperity. I am the Second Coming. The Jews were right. It wasn't Christ who was going to save them. It was Donald Trump. They asked me to ride into Jerusalem on a donkey one Palm Sunday a few years ago. I couldn't fulfill their wishes because I had committed to a round of golf with Tiger Woods--I wish more black people were like Tiger. I think he really likes me. He really, really does--but I can guarantee all my religious right, redneck, rich and racist followers that come this November I'm going to dig my spurs into the Democratic donkey and no amount of braying is going to realize the miracle for which these socialists are praying.
"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the White House, or to God for that matter, except through me. We are going to turn our biggest arenas into Houses of Worship overflowing with my faithful. If a few are infected with Coronavirus and die, we know that every movement needs martyrs. But there will be many, many virgins waiting for them for their great sacrifice unless, of course, I get there first."
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