THE SAD SAGA OF A TRUMPET STRUMPET

JESSICA PUENTE-BRADSHAW: "Jerry McHale speaks out of both sides of his mouth as well as his ass. He is no stranger to getting in line to accept his "mordida" from corrupt and selfish politicos running for office. He gets bought and then makes up what he needs to make up in order to sway and influence the ignorant public that know they are the victims of lies. What a damn hypocrite. If Jerry really wanted to help, he'd get a job at the Herald. Maybe his current MO pays better or he can't hack it as a storyteller."

(EDITOR'S NOTE: They say that squirrels worship Jessica Puente-Bradshaw. Why? They recognize her as a nut. Politically, she is swatted away like a gadfly and dismissed as a sore loser. In 2010 she finished fourth in a four-person race for the Republican nomination to Congress. In 2012 Congressman Filemon Vela Jr. crushed her. Humiliated, she hibernated for several years before emerging from her cave to stalk the streets of Brownsville like a misguided La Llorona as a city commissioner candidate in 2019. John Cowen pummeled the loud-mouth lout by more than 2,000 votes, an Anglo-American annihilating a Mexican-American in a constituency 95% Hispanic. She has no credibility. She endorsed both Diego Alonzo Hernandez and Fred Arias in the last county contests and they were destroyed. "They say she likes her wine and the statements she issues certainly qualify as the words that would pour from the mouth of a 14th Street lush," states Maclovio O'Malley, la Voz de los Vatos. "She calls science weird. She insinuates that Coronavirus is a Democratic conspiracy to undermine the perverted president. She attacks the Super Bowl for featuring drag queens and asserts that Mexico's reformist leader is in the backpocket of the cartels. It doesn't surprise me that squirrels pay homage to her. She is an authentic nut. We wouldn't be surprised that if Trump grabbed her by her private parts, she would experience an orgasm while her husband, Jonathan 'El Mándilon' Bradshaw, would watch breathlessly playing pocket pool. Es una pinche ruca super chisqueada. When she was running against Cowen, she appeared at his fundraiser hosted at Las Ramblas and demanded entrance so she could work the crowd. When management gently escorted her from the premises, she flew into a rage and ranted on Facebook that an injustice had been visited upon her. It was this irrational behavior that eventually led to her brutal spanking at the hands of Cowen. She chastises Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully for not writing slavishly for The Brownsville Herald when every self-respecting journalist has turned to blogging as the mainstream press has lost its relevance in an era monopolized by social media. Her animosity toward the blogosphere, however, is understandable as the bloggers have portrayed her as an air-head bloviating racist rhetoric. Here is a compilation of the bloggers' best hits regarding jackass Jessica: Described as a person who likes politics better than sex, wholly credible as her husband emanates the appeal of a mongrel sheepishly following her through downtown alleys, as well as being little more than a "macaw, a voice forever on high but lost," her anticipated announcement against Cowen inspired this commentary: "Rumors sweep like flies circling a day-old bowl of guacamole that the worn name of Jessica Puente-Bradshaw might be in the final heats." El Rrun Rrun Publisher Juan Montoya took the hypocritical Puente-Bradshaw behind the outhouse for another spanking (Maybe in her heart of hearts she savors the rough treatment because the dandelion who is her spouse couldn't excite a weed.) in another unsuccessful election for chiding other candidates for their alleged negligence and corruption when she was the classic perpetrator of her own accusations: "Her campaign committee lists her home in Austin and not in Brownsville as she claims in her local campaign propaganda. And this is not all!!! How is it possible that the prognosticating candidate can forget to file her FEC-mandated quarterly finance reports, not once, but twice!?!?" Like a moth attracted to a light or a cucaracha lurking in the shadows, we have no doubts that Puente-Bradshaw will rise out of the sewer again and create another stink as the electorate pinch their noses and vote for her opponent. Jessica Puente-Bradshaw was, is and will always be a loser. Don't take our word for this declaration. Her own people have overwhelming given her a thumbs down on countless occasions. We wouldn't be surprised if her hero Trump mistook her for a maid working illegally and demanded her immediate deportation. She is such a dismal failure that she can't win for losing.)